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Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

Let’s suppose that you are meeting someone online
and that person seem to be the match of your life,
but is living far away from you. Does it worth
to spend your time in a long distance
relationship with this person?

What if this person is really your soul mate?

You may be surprised how much a relationship can
grow if you work at it. If you know and apply
some simple rules, your relationship can turn out
to be one of the most successful and happy
relationships that ever existed.

Distance, combined with phone calls and writing,
electronically or through regular mail, can
foster an enviable intimacy which results from
learning about another’s qualities, values and
ways of thinking, sensitivities, dreams, and
aspirations. This type of intimacy can make your
coming together much more special.

And, as if relationships weren’t complicated
enough, having them across a long distance is
extremely challenging. Just read the following
rules and try to keep them in mind and apply them:

1. The quality of a relationship is more likely
to increase if both people develop the ability to
share feelings openly with each other. Do not be
afraid to tell your partner what you really need
and want from him or her, he or she deserves to
know the truth and judge whether they can give it
to you.

2. Make the relationship a high priority. Avoid
canceling reunions or putting off a phone call.

3. Keep in touch daily. If large phone bills are
a concern, send e-mail, letters, cards and even
faxes. And when you do make contact, don’t just
stick to love talk, but keep each other informed
on the day-to-day aspects of your lives. This way
each of you is aware of how the other is thinking,
feeling and developing.  Late-night talks and
thoughtful letters can convey a lot of what is
most important in the long-term: your goals,
values and dreams.

4. Be prepared to be flexible. Tell your partner
of how much you think about and love him or her
and you will score some important points. Making
them miss you more and you’ll fill them with the
constant urge to see you. But don’t be possessive.
Being paranoid and accusing will only grow
doubts, insecurity and tension between you and
none of those will help the relationship develop
successfully.

If your partner truly wants to be with you, then
they would not want to wait forever to have you
next to her or him. As long as you both trust
each other, inform one another of your personal
lives, keep in touch, your relationship can turn
out into a happy normal relationship.

Ultimately, a fabulous relationship is your goal -
right?

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Whether you and your spouse both work outside of the home, or one of you stays home with the children, it’s easy for one person to feel out of the financial picture. It’s important in a marriage to feel equal to your partner, on all levels of the playing field. Even if you don’t feel “stuck”, it’s important for couples to communicate openly about their financial situation, and try to better it together.

Most marriages have their financial ups and downs. It can truly be a test to your relationship with your partner in dealing with the downs in particular. Here are some tips to help you deal with these situations in the quickest and calmest way possible.

1.)    Pick the Right Time. Find a non stress time to sit down and have a discussion with your partner. Me and my husband love to go on evenings out, because it gives us a chance to discuss important issues in a non stress environment. If you must stay home, make sure the kids are not present during the conversation.

2.)    Come Prepared. Write down the matters you have been thinking about beforehand so that you can stay on track during your discussion.

3.)    Don’t Get Emotional. Avoid personal attacks towards your spouse. Use “I” instead of “you” when speaking. Don’t be argumentative and state how you feel. Don’t point fingers, and don’t start a fight.

4.)    Take Turns. Common courtesy will help you achieve your goals. Feeling equal to your partner will come with a general respect between you and your partner.

5.)    Make a Plan. Discuss the situation and future plans with your spouse. Make sure you have a basic budget in place and discuss you and your partner’s vital steps in your financial future. Compile a money to-do list and check your progress often.

Remember the love you have for each other during the conversation, and listen
Also to what your partner has to say during the discussion. If it seems to be a bad time in general to talk about it, remember that there will be another opportunity to let your partner know how you feel. Let it go, and pick a better time in the future.

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Sex life?  What sex life?  You’re a parent and life is so busy that you barely have time to think about your own needs, let alone do anything about meeting them.  It can seem like your own needs don’t matter, it’s the children that have top priority and you have to do whatever it takes to look after them.  Don’t be fooled, your needs are important and neglecting them isn’t good for anyone, not you, not your partner and definitely not your children.  Sure you can’t do all the things you did before children, life has changed and pleasure comes in different ways.  But you are still an adult with adult needs and for you to feel fulfilled they need to be met.

So how do you find time and energy for sex when there are so many other things demanding your attention?  It takes a bit more planning and effort than in the past but you need to tell yourself that it can happen and it is definitely worth it.

What if you don’t want anyone touching you after having children crawling all over you all day?  Some people have a quotient for the amount of physical contact they need and can comfortably accommodate in a day.  But if you think about it children touch you differently to how your partner touches you and for the most part, it’s all take.

So how do you have more sex?  Okay, how do you have any sex?

1. Make it a priority and it will happen.  Feeding the children quickly becomes a priority when you have nagging children at your feet.  Make your desires like that and don’t let up until you have got what you need.

2. Find a time that works.  It may be early in the morning before the children wake up, it may be immediately after they’ve gone to bed ignoring the dishes and the washing and cleaning up, it may be during the day while the kids are watching a video.  You have to make time for each other.

3. Do some things that make you think about sex.  It can be hard to switch your brain from babyland to sex so you may need a little help.  Watch a sexy movie, read erotic fiction together, write your partner a sexy note, think back to a time when you had great sex (c’mon you can do that, it can’t be that long, surely, you have children afterall!), relive how good it felt.

4. Take a shower together.  There is something about getting naked and wet together that can be very erotic.

5. Expect interruptions and don’t be put off.  OK you start kissing and you hear a baby cry.  You try to ignore it but you can’t.  So you go off and tend to them and then think the moment is gone.  But it isn’t.  And if it is then get it back by viewing the interruption as a diversion which has increased your appetite for sex not soured it.

6. Don’t wait until you get into bed to initiate sex.  When you’ve been together awhile it’s easy to fall into habits, like falling into a deep sleep as soon as your head touches the pillow, and sometimes it’s those habits that you need to break in order to kickstart your sex life.  Sex can happen anywhere so make use of the spaces you have.

7. And the most important thing you need to do – don’t give up!  You can find a way to make it happen.  Know that your needs are important and you will function better when they’ve been met.

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